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You know those moments that you wish would last forever?

One minute you are just living your life and a moment comes along that you don’t ever want to end.

You know it’s going to, but you still find yourself wishing that time will stop.

That the world will stop turning and you can stay in this singular moment for the rest of your life.

You don’t want it to end because you fear that once it ends, life will continue on and this moment will be gone.

Maybe tomorrow you won’t remember it.

It’s amazing that in that moment when you are wishing for the impossible, you get a taste of it.

Just a taste.

Time doesn’t stop but you can feel it slow down.

You feel that moment so deep and bright.

For a second.

One single second.

The world goes quiet and you revel in it.

Time slows down.

It doesn’t stop.

It never stops.

And you can’t stay forever.

But you feel it.

The slowness.

Then, in the next second, the world is back to whizzing past you.

Those are the moments I love.

Those are the moments we live for.

The stillness and chaos of those moments.

What’s your moment?

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Be Silly, Be Kind, Be Honest

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Alone but Not Lonely

There is an idea that a lot of people have. This preconceived notion that in order to be whole and happy you have to be in a relationship.

Well, I call bullshit.

Kind of anyway.

I do not believe that you need to be in a relationship to be happy, but you do need relationships.

You need a person. You need a mom, a brother, a friend, anyone. You can’t go through life completely alone. You need someone to share your victories with and someone to share the defeats with.

The other half of that relationship is you.

You need to be happy with who you are. Cliche I know, but you can’t be happy until you are happy with yourself.

So to the point of this little rant of mine…

I have been single for five-ish years and I am not lonely.

Staying single is such a foreign idea to so many people. They question if you are crazy, if you have issues, if you are gay?

If all of that was true, I’d still be single.

 I stayed single through college. I dated, a lot, but I never got into a serious relationship. I’d love to say that it was by choice, but no one really knows that. We’d all love to say that we have the control, but we don’t. Life is crazy and chaotic and it’s just an unknown ride.

I do, however, enjoy being single. It has granted the opportunity to focus on me.

I was able to leave after high school, be a little crazy in college, go on spontaneous adventures, and relocate where ever I wanted to after graduation.

I figured out what I want in life and what I don’t. I know what I want in a partner in crime and a partner in life.

It’s not always easy, and sometimes it is lonely. I’d be lying if I said otherwise.

Sometimes I sit alone in my apartment and kill a bottle (or 2 or 3) of wine.

There is always going to be darkness, the trick is to find the light. Not in someone else. In yourself.

So I laugh at myself, I talk to myself (probably more than I should), I sing at the top of my lungs in my car as I drive, and I put on concerts in my underwear in my apartment on a Saturday night.

I found my joy. I find my joy in me and in the life I built.

I stopped making apologies for who I am and what I want in life.

It took time and it took effort. It wasn’t done in a day, or a week, or a month.

It is worth being alone, to find out who you are. But it is not for everyone.

Some people don’t need the time or the space. I was not one of those people.

I can’t speak for anyone else, only for myself, and that is what I had to say.

Above all be happy, but don’t forget∇∇∇

Be Silly, Be Kind, Be Honest.

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The 3 Friends You Meet in College That Change Your Life

When I was 18 I left home for the first time to go to an out of state four year university.

I purposefully went somewhere far away because I wanted to leave the stereotypes and the history I had made in my small town.

I wanted to start over, I wanted to be new.

I wanted to be Not-So Me.

I found myself when I got there. I found my strength, my purpose, and I found some incredible friends.


The very first friend I had was Marge. She was spunky and adventurous and knew how to meet people.

She took the small town country girl and taught her how to talk to people, flirt with boys, and get a little crazy.

Marge


The second friend I made was Alexis. She was a batshit crazy hurricane that made my heart grow four sizes in one day. This girl showed me confidence, how to kick ass, and how to never apologize for being uniquely you. She also taught me how to take a shot.

In more ways than one.

She changed my life in a not-so-small way.

Alexis


Next came Tori. Tori was a walking ray of sunshine. That girl could run 5 miles with a smile on her face.

She taught me that there is joy everywhere. Even in the shittiest day, you can find a sparkle.

Tori


You meet a lot of people when you start your life over. I have friends that I made and never left. I have friends that changed the way I see the world. I also have friends that I love so much I almost hate them.

Every friendship is important and every friendship impacts you in some way.

The three friends in here changed how I saw myself and helped me to be me. They gave me spunk and spirit and taught me that I can be whatever and whoever I wanted to be.

Always remember: Be Silly, Be Kind, Be Honest.

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Booze and Ass Tattoos

For once I had a great first date! Then date two rolled around…

On our first date, we had a lot of fun. We spent a couple hours together. Got taco’s and margaritas, then went to McMenamins for a couple beers. We talked and joked and had a great time.

He had a good job and owned his own house. He was older than me and was driven. Everything seemed to be pointing in the right direction.

Not so much…

After the date, he didn’t make a move. Not a kiss. Not a hug. Not even a handshake.

A few days later we decided to meet up after work for dinner and drinks again.

On the first date he had picked me up, so I assumed that he would pick me up again. I waited and as the time rolled around for the date I got a text.

“I’m here. I have a table, I’ll see you soon.”

Kay then.

Whaaaaaaaaat?? Not to act like a high school girl but, really? You don’t pick a lady up for a second date?

I got to the restaurant and saw the familiar back of a head.

Not-so-polite to sit with your back to the door when you are meeting someone.

We were sitting at the table talking when the topic of tattoos came around. I have none, he had some. Then I made the mistake of asking what his tattoo was and where.

Not-so-smart on my part.

Turns out his tattoo was bigfoot drinking a beer on his ass.

How big you may be wondering? “Well I’m not gonna say it takes up my whole ass, but it does cover a good cheek.”

OH and I almost forgot, his female best friends name was also a part of the tattoo.

I shit you not.

So naturally, I wanted to see it.

Yeah, not so much.

He asked I said no. He asked again, I again said no. He asked a third time, and you guessed it! I STILL SAID NO!

Guess who still pulled out his phone and shoved the photo in my face?

My not-so-charming date.

To top off this wonderful conversation the topic moved to my ass.

Whyyyyyyyyyyyyy

Why would anyone think that was a good idea?

My not-so-chivalrous date proceeded to tell me that I needed an ass tat.

Then he started listing what it could be;

  • A heart
  • Something inappropriate
  • A beer
  • Sexist comment
  • Micky’s head
  • Another bad idea
  • Kiss Lips

I’m just gonna throw it out there. Ass tattoos should not be a topic of conversation on a second date. Also, if you want to make it to the third, don’t talk about mine and its lack of a tattoo.

The date ended and he again tried nothing. No kiss, no hug, no handshake.

You, ass tattooed sir, just got yourself Ghosted!

Sometimes I’m immature, but I still remember to be silly, be kind, be honest.

 

Bad Date Meme

Bahama Mama

Have you ever been in a public place with your best friend and you get approached by a guy?

Did that guy hit on you?

Did that guy also hit on your best friend?

Did he hit on the both of you at the same time?

Is your best friend your mom?

I’m The Not-So Millenial and this is the story of when my mom and I got hit on by the same guy at the same time.

Growing up, like most girls my age, I was obsessed with Mary-Kate and Ashley Olson. My all-time favorite movie was Holiday in The Sun. I could watch that movie on repeat and never get tired of it. I thought that was the best movie ever!

My opinion on that movie has not-so-much changed.

Well, If you haven’t seen the movie Mary-Kate and Ashley go to Atlantis in the Bahama’s for winter break. They do all of these awesome things and have an epic love story. If you haven’t seen it, I highly recommend.

Atlantis

Back to the point… So ever since I saw this movie it has been a dream of mine to go to Atlantis. Like on my bucket list, the biggest wish of my childhood life.

Finally, when I was 22 I got to go! Our first night there my mom and I were exploring and we walked outside AND I RECOGNIZED THE PATH WE WERE ON!! Not gonna lie, I started tearing up. My mom laughed at me when I got a bit misty-eyed.

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This path. Like how could you not have watering eyes?!

So the resort is huge. Tons of things to do and places to go.

Bahama's

I mean… look at this place!

One of these places is a massive casino. So being the responsible penny savers that my mom and I are we go to the casino to spend some money and time before we go to bed.

My mom and I have some serious rules when we are gambling. I’ll get into that another time.

My mom and I were in the casino on the first night. We were trying to stay awake, because of the time difference. So we decided to share five dollars in a penny machine. We were sharing the machine, taking turns, and what not. We were talking and joking the way we do…

When out of nowhere this huge guy walked up to us. He was over 6 feet, black, husky build, bald head.

Honestly my type of guy

Probably in his thirties.

Not-so my type.

He comes over all confident, hitting on me. Being nice and flirty.

Then he turns to my mom and starts hitting on her!

My mom and I are trying to be nice even though he is flirting with us both and not-so-deserving of our politeness.

Then he comes at us with, “What are you two ladies doing tonight?”

“We’re going to our room.” -Mom

“Oh, are you having a party?” -Man

*Cashes out*

“No, we’re going to bed.” -Me

“I’m good in bed, may I join you two?” -Man

“NO!” -Mom and I

*Mother and daughter walk away quickly*

We take a few steps then my mom turns back,

“So was it the hair?” -Mom

My mother is convinced that black guys like us because of our super curly hair

“Nah, you both have great asses” -Man

Welp… I guess we have that going for us too.

Even in an awkward situation be silly, be kind, be honest!

 

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50 Worst Dates, But This One Wins

Have you ever been on an unforgettable first date?

Have you ever been on a first date that was unlike any other?

Have you ever been on a first date that was so bad your best friend laughed at you and thought you were lying?

Well, I have.

I am The Not-So Millennial and this is the worst date I have ever been on.

I was set up with a family friend. I was excited because he was super cute! But I also had this sinking feeling in my stomach. I was so nervous that I drove past the house four times before I finally parked at the house in a church parking lot. I had to call my friend so that she could talk me into not bailing on the date.

Looking back that was probably a sign…

When I arrived it was brought to my attention that this was about to be a double date with his sister.

I liked his sister, we had met on a few occasion and got along well enough. I just didn’t expect to go on a date with her.

We stayed at the house for a few minutes because my date and his sister’s date were still getting ready. So I sat in the living room sharing awkward small talk with his sister.

We finally left for the date. Not even two minutes into the drive he grabbed a clear empty water bottle. He then proceeded to place a very large amount of tobacco into his lower lip.

It’s bad enough to know that the guy you are going on a date with has a dip in his mouth. It’s even worse when you have to see the brown spit coming out and swishing around in the bottom of a see-through water bottle.

It is not-so-attractive and is oh-so gag-worthy.

We show up at the location of our date. He gets out of the car and starts jogging like a dog with his tail between his legs and shouts back at us, “I need to take a FAT SHIT”.

I shit you not.

He gets to take his shit. Comes out of the bathroom and sighs, “Aaahh now that was nice.”

We walk up to the bar and he proceeds to chug vodka cranberries.

Very macho of him.

For every one drink I have, he has four. Throughout the night he proceeds to get drunker, and drunker, and drunker.

We are here for what feels like FOREVER! But oddly enough I may have only seen him for about 15 minutes..? For some reason, he keeps disappearing for about an hour at a time.

Every time he shows up he is increasingly intoxicated. He shows up for a few minutes then disappears again!

The entire time I am with his sister and her date.

We look over and there is my date.. talking to another girl.. very intimately…

His sister looks like she wants to kill him, her date looks extremely confused, and my date looks like he is having a grand old time!

Finally, my date appears. Just long enough to tell us that he has been cut off and he needs me to buy him a beer. I did buy him a beer, with his money.

We were finally leaving where we had been all night.

As we were walking out he was next to me, drunkenly stumbling along. Then I turned around to see where his sister and her date were. They were a little further back so I stopped walking. When I turned back around I see my date leaning into a different girls ear, then he proceeds to slap her on the ass.

That was not-so-charming.

None of us have eaten in a few hours so we decided on Taco Bell. My date was mad that we were getting Taco Bell instead of Burger King.

Not-so-cool. Who chooses Burger King over Taco Bell?

I order two tacos. My date stayed out in the car because he didn’t get his way.

Poor thing…

His sister’s date felt so bad for me that he bought my two tacos and apologized for my date.

To my not-so enjoyment, the date wasn’t over yet. We went to a different bar. Thankfully there were more people there that I knew.

No really, I was thankful! It had been an extremely awkward night so far.

My date went up to the bar and took four shots. Yes, four shots, after he had already been cut off at the first place and had flirted with the bartender in order to keep drinking there.

He was blacked out by this point.

He then proceeded to buy a bucket of beers to drink, to himself.

Myself, the sister, her date, and a group of people that I knew were all sitting at a table and joking around. I was actually having fun with them!

The bartender was an older lady in about her 60’s and was very clearly not wearing a bra. One of the guys that we were with is a regular at the bar, he and the bartender are close. He was getting ready to go home, so the bartender comes over to give him a hug.

My date had dozed off in his seat, sitting straight up holding his beer.

As a joke, they hugged over the top of him. So his head was smashed between there chests.

He then wakes up and starts to shout,

“OH MY GAWD! I WAS BALLZ DEEP IN HER TITS”

“DID YOU SEE MY FACE?”

“I WAS BASICALLY MOTORBOATING HER.”

“SHE’S SO OLD.”

“I HAD OLD LADY TITS ON MY HEAD!”

…and on and on he went. Never stopping.

Embarrassing himself, the bartender, me, and everyone in the bar.

A random girl showed up and sat down at our table and started talking about all of the times she had spent with my man-boy of a date. About how her husband loves him and how impressed he was with my dates penis. About how good his penis was. How great his penis looks.

Yes, my date and a random blonde are having this conversation ten feet away from me and his sister. Let’s just say neither of us was enjoying this conversation.

They then continue to talk about all of the times he has been kicked out of places because of him groping random girls.

He apparently is the guy that walks into bars and grabs random girls tits and ass and then gets escorted out by security.

I sure picked a winner! Maybe not-so-much.

The night is FINALLY over! We get back to the house where we had all met. My date gets out and starts peeing on the side of the truck.

I’m not-so-sure why the sister’s date hadn’t punched him out yet.

I hug the sister and thank her for spending the evening with me. I hug her date and thank him for being nice and funny all night.

My date walks stumbles over to me and GOES IN FOR A KISS!

At this point in the night, he is blackout drunk, has had about ten dips in his mouth, and smells like pee.

I think he missed the truck.

He’s going in for a kiss and I SWERVE so hard. I swerve like I’m doing the Carlton dance.

Swerve

There is no way I was about to kiss this 27-year-old boy.

I say, “Kay thanks, byyyyyyyyyyye!”

Then I get in my car and drive my booty home.

I get home from my date and I am facetiming with my best friend. Telling her how awful this date has just been. She is laughing at me and all of a sudden I get a text message. From my date.

“Thanks so much for coming out tonight. I had a blast. You are so fun! I can’t wait to go out with you again!”

Seriously? Were we on the same date?

But me, being the kind lady that I am I reply,

“It was some night.”

It was a not-so-good night, but on the bright side, I don’t think I could ever go on a worse date.

Even on a terrible night always remember be silly, be kind, be honest!

 

Casino date

23 and Me

Welcome to my first blog and to The Terror Dome that is my not-so filtered inner thoughts.

I am The Not-So Millennial. I am 23 and a recent college graduate. I received my bachelors of science and I am now working in my career.

I was hired to work in my career at the age of 22. I started working soon after graduation.

I work full time and live on my own. Yes, on my own. I pay my own rent and I don’t live with my parents or in their basement. I have students loans, that I pay. A car loan, that I pay. Monthly bills, that I also pay.

I grew up in a not-so-quaint small town with a not-so-terrible family. I went to a little high school where everyone was either related to each other or dating each other, hopefully not both. Everyone knows everyone else’s business in that not-so-nice little town.

Small towns are not-so adorable. When you grow up there you are in the middle of it. You don’t see the small-mindedness or the bigotry. 

All you see are the same people you went to kindergarten with and the teachers that grew up there and never left.

You live around the gossip of what happened in homeroom and the big game on Friday night.

Once you leave you see how small it was. You see the hatred hidden in the jokes that everyone told. You see the racism and the sexism that everyone displayed, but you never thought twice about.

You realize that those “harmless” jokes, weren’t.

Most people don’t leave. They don’t escape and learn to see the rest of the world. They don’t expand their view or consider different points and opinions.

They remain small hateful people.

I have only ever been in one long-term relationship. It lasted for 3 years then it ended before I left for college. It was a not-so-great time. I came to realize that I deserved to be treated with respect.

I have been on plenty of dates since then, but never in another relationship. I have been on a few absolutely awful dates. 

Free dating apps are not-so-great places to meet people.

I like going on dates and meeting people. I am what you could call, “Serial Dater.”

In my future blogs, I will go into some of my absolutely awful dates… You would be surprised at the things that come out of guys mouths when they are trying to impress someone that they have just met.

Here’s a hint, it’s not-so-impressive.

I enjoy being alone. I live alone and enjoy every moment of it. The only downside is that I probably talk to myself more than is deemed as normal.

I contribute to society, I help others. I have done more community service than I can even remember. I have a small group of friends that I rely on and love to be around. I don’t do drama and I don’t give a fuck.

I do enjoy watching drama, but who doesn’t?

Growing up I cared a lot what people thought. I would do anything that was asked of me. I let everyone walk all over me. When I went to college I learned that no-one cares what you do.

I learned that I don’t want to be a welcome mat. I want to be a powerful badass woman.

College was the best time in my not-so-long life. I made wonderful friends, had a blast, and learned a lot. I learned a lot about myself and the career path I was about to embark upon.

My friends tell me that I am “Beautifully blunt” and “Bitchingly honest”

They also add a, “Was that really necessary to say?”

Someone else liking you doesn’t give you self-worth, you give you self-worth.

This was one of the hardest lessons in life I have learned so far.

I don’t intend to stop learning anytime soon.

I am The Not-So Millennial welcome to my world!

Be Silly, Be Kind, Be Honest.

 

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